He's a WHAT?
by risokura
Summary: Kenshin as a girl is wrong on so many levels. Tama and Ayako fail to realize this. KenshinKaoru.
1. The Beginning!

**Chapter 1: The Beginning  
**

It was a normal quiet night at the Kamiya Dojo. Until...

"AUGHG!"

"Ayako! Be quiet! We have to be...SHINOBI LIKE!" shouted a voice.

"YOU SHUT UP TAMA! I tripped on a pebble..." said Ayako as she dusted herself off.

"A...pebble?" asked Tama. As she began walking, she tripped on the pebble too, and Ayako was giggling like a mad man, as Tama looked up with a horrible death glare.

"Wow, I feel so...so, scared!" said Ayako, and snickered again. "Hush! Were here...aha, Kamiya Kesshin Dojo!" Tama pushed open the wood doors. "You'd think they would at least lock the doors at night..." said Ayako, following close behind Tama. "You got the dust?" asked Tama, turning around. Ayako held up a bag of sparkling blue dust, and grinned. "Right here...now wait a minute...how long are the effects?" asked Ayako. Tama shrugged. "I dunno! Hey, we want entertainment right?!"

The two girls entered the main house of the dojo, and Tama haulted Ayako. "Ah...japanese custom, shoes off!" Ayako rolled her eyes, and Tama grinned.

Shedding their shoes, the sneaky duo crept around the dojo, searching for the elusive Kenshin. With a sudden "ack," Tama tripped over a prone figure, lying on the floor. "What the hell--AHA!" Tama did a classic evil cackle, ending with a less-then-spectacular cough from lack of air. "We have found him!"

Ayako glanced at Kenshin's upright figure, noting his closed eyes and immobile body. "Um... So, is there a reason he sleeps upright?" Tama shrugged, "Must be a guy thing." She poked her Ayako, "Time to get a-sprinklin'!" She announced. Ayako rolled her eyes, opening the tiny clasp that held the pouch close. She dipped her hand greedily in, snickering as Tama sneezed. "VIOLA!" She cried as she sprinkled a hearty handful on the sleeping Kenshin.

Kenshin's eyes fluttered a bit as he heard Ayako's loud exclaimation, and Tama whacked her friend over the head.

"You retard!" Tama scolded.

Ayako merely grinned and offered the bag to Tama, who dumped it's entire contents on poor-unaware-Kenshin.

"O...oro?" Kenshin saw the two girls above him, and stood up, as Tama and Ayako began to run. "RUN DAMMIT!" shouted Tama, pushing Ayako, before Kenshin had a chance to unsheath his sword and go after the girls.

Kenshin stood up and saw as Tama, snapped her fingers, and the girls disappeared in a blue light of swirling colors. "O...oro?" Once again, our poor Kenshin was just as confused as ever, and had no idea what was going to happen the next day...

The next day...

Unlce Kenny?" asked Ayane as she pushed open the wood door. "Uncle Kenny!" shouted Suzume. "Where is Uncle Kenny?" asked Ayame, as she pushed open another door.

"Have you found him yet?" asked Kaoru as Sano and Yahiko joined up with her in the center of the dojo. "No, its like he just vanished..." said Sano as he looked over his shoulder. "Why's busu so worried?!" teased Yahiko, sticking his tounge out at Kaoru who glared at him, and then the two got into a weird anime style fight, as Sano ignored them

Meanwhile...

"Come with meee..." The pink panda twirled around and motioned to Kenshin with one large paw. "We shall travel the world! We shall have tea on Mt. Everest, shout in the Grand Canyon--" The panda suddenly began to chirp in a high voice. "Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!"

Kenshin awoke with a start, rubbing his eyes sleepyly. "Pandas?" He questioned

Kenshin proceeded to get up, swaggering all the way to the bathroom. He washed his face in swift movements, hurriedly uncapping his toothpaste, when he realized his chest was feeling abnormally heavy. Stopping momentarily from his rushed tooth-brushing, he nearly gagged. Protruding strangely from his pajamas, were two... lumps. With morbid fascination, he let the toothbrush fall and poked it experimentally. It jiggled.

Forgetting his toothbrush, he opened his clothing and inspected the round things further, "Oro? Why these...they look like..." He trailed off, unable to continue.

Kenshin blinked, and looked at the mirror. He did a double-take. His bangs were slightly more outward, and his face looked softer and smaller. His hands had longer nails and were slender and delicate. His eyes were much bigger and eyebrow's much thinner. His hair was slightly more wavy, and went futher down his back. Kenshin blinked as he looked from left to right, and dropped his toothbrush into the water. "Common Himura, keep it together..." Kenshin bit his lower lip and looked at his back side.

Observing that he had gained this new physique, he then remembered. Two girls. One with a crazed look on her face, the other was laughing so hard she was choking. Those two girls, they were responsible for this. He just knew it, and he would find them if it was the last thing he did...but first, how was he going to explain to Kaoru-dono that he was...he was...that he was...a girl?


	2. Finding Out

**Chapter 2: Finding Out**

"We can't find Uncle Kenny anywhere!" shouted Ayame as she ran up to Kaoru and Yahiko who were currently engaging in one of their-so-called-normal fights. Sano (or Sanosuke I perfer the shortened version ) looked up saw Sazume followed close behind Ayame and chewed on his fish bone. "Nowhere! Uncle Kenny no find, nowhere!" said Suzume as she waved her arms around. Sano looked up into the sky, clouds were starting to crowd together and the rain would come soon. "How long have you two been looking?" asked Sano as he felt a drop of rain hit his eye.

"Forever!" said Ayame.

"Forever!" copied Sazume.

"We should start heading in." said Kaoru, looking at the sky, then the dojo, heading back. That's when they heard a familiar "Dayiayiayiaia" sound. Sano's fish bone immediately dropped out of his mouth, and as it did, Yahiko said, "That sounded like Kenshin!" The gang started to run into the dojo and opened up a the room where you could usually find Kenshin.

The dojo room itself. Kaoru threw back the door. "Ken--shin?" she said, as she saw Kenshin face first on the floor, eyes swirly, with Megumi standing over him...rather her with her bag. "I caught this woman in the dojo, walking back in forth in Kenshin's clothes!" shouted Megumi.

Kaoru sweatdropped. "But Megumi, that IS Kenshin..." Megumi rolled Kenshin over. "How do you explain these, huh?" she asked, pointing to Kenshin's chest. "No man can grow boobs, Kaoru, you know that as well as I do. Unless...I should examine him futher...and we've mistaken him for a he all of long, which--" Megumi was cut off short by an "AHEM!" from Sano, pointing to Sazume and Ayame. "Oh... Uh..." Kaoru gave Yahiko a nudge. "Go take them outside."

Yahiko glared at Kaoru. "Why can't I stay, busu?!" he yelled. "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" and with that, she and Yahiko engaged in yet another fight, as the door shut behind them, and the swirly eyed Kenshin was still on the floor.

Sano and Megumi were the only ones left in the room as Sano picked Kenshin up, pulling him over his shoulder, and lugging him back into a spare room, where he dropped Kenshin onto the futon and Megumi set to work observing him. "Well I don't really see anything wrong with him..." said Megumi putting some of her complicated tools away. "I say we let him rest for the remainder of the day."

Kenshin's eyes slowly opened as he sat up and blinked, looking at Sano then Megumi. "Megumi-dono? Sano?" he said.

Megumi smiled and said, "Thats about it." As she looked at Sanosuke who nodded and stood up, rubbing his chin.

"Oro? Sessha is confused, what are you talking about, Megumi-dono?"

Megumi looked at the innocent cute Kenshin.

(A/N: :drool: He's so cute! Kenshin: O..oro??)

She started by taking a deep breath and asking, "Kenshin, did anything happen to you last night?"

"Last night? Sessha does not recall--" Then it hit Kenshin. The two girls he had remembered from last night. That dust they had sprinkled on him. It was all making sense now. The two girls, they had put that dust on him and now that dust was doing this too him. He looked at Megumi who was waiting inquistively for his answer.

"Last night, while sessha was sleeping, two girls had disturbed sessha's sleep, de gazoru yo."

Megumi looked at Sano who blinked and shrugged. "Go on." said Megumi, blinking as she looked at Kenshin.

Kenshin nodded. "Well, they sprinkled some dust on sessha and sessha had no idea what it was."

Megumi suddenly stood up. "Dust, you say?" she asked.

Kenshin nodded once again. "Sessha speaks of what sessha knows, Megumi-dono, de gazoru yo."

Sano looked at Kenshin. "Well I guess the dust turns you into a girl then?" he asked.

Megumi put her hands to her hips. "Not exactly. Kenshin is the 5th attack this month. First it was this teeange boy, then 3 other males, and finally, Kenshin. They turn you into the opposite sex." said Megumi.

Kenshin blinked. "Oro?"

Megumi clinched her fists. "All I know is that they're two 14-year-old girls. Tama and Ayako. They go around at night spreading this magical dust on people for what the call "Fun" and then the person goes through a transformation into that of the opposite sex goes through what they go through. Kenshin, looks like your and in for quite a ride."

"O...Oro?!" exclaimed Kenshin.

"You mean to tell me that Kenshin here...is a girl!?" said Sanosuke as he stood up.

"Sessha is a girl, Megumi-dono?" asked Kenshin.

Megumi looked at Kenshin who was currently lying up in the futon. "I would say so. Unless we capture the two girls they'll remain at large to torture the rest of Tokyo. The police have already sent out a watch to try and find them." Megumi sighed. "Think you can handle being a girl Kenshin?" she asked.

Kenshin stood up and said, "Sessha has been through much worse. Sessha will be able to manage, de gazoru yo."

Megumi pushed Kenshin back down before he could even get any more than an "Oro?" out.  
"Your on bed rest until today...I will tell Kaoru and Yahiko the news."

Kenshin watched as Megumi left and he...rather she, was left with Sanosuke. "A girl, eh?" said Sanosuke, eyes closed as he rubbed his chin. "Never thought I'd see the day when I would see the Hitokiri Battousai get turned into a girl by two girls...odd...yes, very odd."

But before Sano could ask Kenshin anything, the poor little rorouni had already passed out from the lack of understanding what was going on.

"Eh heh heh...better go see how Megumi's breaking the news to Jo-chan and Yahiko."

"A WHAT!?" As Megumi and Sanosuke had predicted, they knew Kaoru would react like this. On the other hand, Yahiko was laughing his ass off, thinking of Kenshin as a woman was actually more funny than he had imagened.

As he wiped away his tears he looked at Megumi. "But...but is h-he?" he asked.

Megumi sat down, tucking her feet underneath her. "Well...as you may have heard, there have been a series of attacks in Tokyo lately by two girls who are sort of like this little gang named Oni. They go by the names Tama and Ayako. They go around Japan spreading this blue sort of fairy dust on their victims which turn them into the opposite sex. All of the victims have been teenage males and men in their 20's...Kenshin is the second oldest. The last victim was 29."

Megumi wiped a bead of sweat off her face and sighed. "We can't do anything unless the girls are found."

Kaoru blinked. "So you mean...Kenshin is stuck like a girl...FOREVER!?"

Yahiko rolled his eyes. "You baka busu! Weren't you listening!? She said, unless--OW!"

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" shouted Kaoru. Sanosuke sweatdropped as the two continued to fight, as he looked off into the night sky, as Kenshin slept on with no idea what was in store for him tomorrow...


	3. The Evil Red Visitor

**Chapter 3: The Evil Red Visitor**

It dark, blood red and every single place he looked was red. "Blood?" asked Kenshin as the human made liquid oozed from above him and fell in his hands. "Oro?" he asked, as the blood slowly dripped down, covering him in a red liquid, as it encased him, slowly...slowly...slowly...

Kenshin's eyes shot open as she sat straight up in he futon, wincing as she did. Shaking her head, Kenshin blinked then looked up at the green ceiling.

She looked over down at her hands that had been clutched over her abdomen. "What...is this pain sessha is feeling?" she blinked, looked at the sheets and saw a bright red spot on the covers. "SEESHA IS BLEEDING!" shouted Kenshin, waving her arms around. "Wait...sessha is bleeding?"

"Bleedingggggggggggggggg" said a voice from nowhere.

Kenshin looked around and blinked. She stood up to futher inspect where the bleeding was coming from. Thats when Kenshin's blood curdling scream peirced the silence of the dojo.

Kaoru looked up from her tea, nearly dropping it as she turned her head. "That sounded like Kenshin!" Putting the tea down, she gathered up the ends of her kimono and started to run toward the room where Kenshin was. When she opened the door, she saw Kenshin looking down at his hands and upon hearing her, looked up.

Kaoru blinked and walked toward Kenshin. "Kenshin, what happened...I heard you scream...and..." she looked down and saw a red spot on the covers.

"Kaoru-dono...what is wrong with sessha...sessha is dying, isn't he...she?" said Kenshin, looking through her fingers. "Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru tried to stop the on coming giggles from escaping her mouth. Poor clueless Kenshin. He had...rather she had just gotten his...HER! Period!

"Kaoruuu-donooo." whined Kenshin.

Kaoru burst out laughing. How could Kenshin, with his age not know of this? Let's name the reason. 1, Kenshin was too busy killing people to really get to know a woman's body. 2, he was Kenshin. 3? Was there a three? Kaoru smiled as she saw how horrified Kenshin looked and began to talk. "Well Kenshin, it looks as though you have your..."

Kenshin leaned in very slowly and her ears perked up. "Oro?"

Kaoru shouted in her ear. "PERIOD!"

Kenshin wailed. Ah, so she did know about it. Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "Uh..."

"Sessha...has his--" Kenshin was cut off short by Kaoru who shook a finger.

"You're a girl now Kenshin, remember?"

Kenshin sighed again. "Sessha has HER period then?" she asked.

Kaoru nodded. "Oh! I can't believe this! Kenshin got her period!" Kaoru grew big chibi eyes and sniffed, bringing a tissue which just randomly appeared from nowhere up to her eyes. "This will be a day...I will always remember!"

Kenshin sweatdropped. "Kaoru-dono, the blood?" She pointed to the bright red spot on the futon. "What do we do about the blood?"

Kaoru thought. "Well Kenshin. I guess your do for a visit to Miss Megumi. Why don't we just put the sheets in the river and acted like nothing happened!"

Kenshin sighed. "If you say so, Kaoru-dono." and they were off to Miss Megumi's for a little visit!

Kenshin looked around and saw little kids crying all over the place. "MOMMY!!" shouted one as she waved her hands around and whined. Then she sneezed and a snot ball oozed out her nose and fell on her kimono. She cried and waved her arms around even more.

Kenshin was sitting next to a little boy who was currently picking his nose and looked at Kenshin, flinging the booger at him. "Hey lady, wanna get a room with me?" The kids mother whacked her son over the head as she led him out of the doctor's office.

Kenshin heard her name being called, and winced as Megumi called her, "Ms. Himura."Kenshin got up, Kaoru trailing behind her and humming along like the day wouldn't get any more stranger.

As the door closed behind, Megumi turned around and smiled at Kenshin. "Kenshin!" she said.

Kenshin sat on the bed in the center of the room. "How are you?" she asked. Kenshin nodded a little bit scared at what Megumi was going too do. "So Kaoru, whats wrong with Sir Ken?" Kaoru smirked at Kenshin who was staring at her with fear in her eyes. "KENSHIN GOT HER PERIOD!"

Megumi blinked and turned toward Kenshin, animeish tears coming down her face. "Is this true, Sir Ken?!"

"Uh...yes, very true. Sessha has got his..." Kenshin saw Kaoru's evil face, and winced. " Sessha means, her, period, de gazoru yo."

Megumi smiled. . "Well in that case, I will have to run some tests...Kenshin...would you mind turning over for me?"

"Aww...its not that bad Kenshin. Megumi was really gentle!" said Kaoru, as Kenshin had her head hanging, red hair spilling over her shoulders.

"Sessha feels violated." said Kenshin as she looked away from Kaoru.

"Well I assure you that when we get home, things will be much better! Come on!" She tugged on Kenshin's arm as they ran across the bridge and toward the dojo. "Miss Kaoru! Slow down!" said Kenshin as she tried to keep up in the 3 inch sandels that Kaoru had lent her for the doctor's visit. Kaoru threw back the dojo door and it closed as she and Kenshin entered the main house, dropping the sandels off at the front as Kaoru dragged Kenshin down the hall way to the dining room, as she threw back the wall. Yahiko and Sanosuke were there and they both had their arms folded.

"Took you two long enough." said Sanosuke as he sat up.

Yahiko nodded. "Yeah busu, where were you two?"

Sanosuke folded his arms. "I bet they were out on a date."

Yahiko nodded. "Yup, yup...thats the case."

BAM!

4 bumps were made present on Yahiko's head, and 12 little bumps were on Sanosuke's.

"No you baka's! Me and Kenshin went to take him to the doctor! You won't believe what happened this morning!" said Kaoru smiling.

"Uh...Miss Kaoru. Sessha believes it is wise if we just keep that to our--"

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Kenshin was on the floor with swirly eyes, as Kaoru just laughed evily. "She's lost it..." said Sanosuke.

"I think its already been lost." said Yahiko nodding.

"Well, like I was saying. Little 'ole Kenshin here got his period today!"

Yahiko and Sanosuke looked at eachother and burst out laughing. "KENSHIN!?" shouted Sanosuke.

A vein popped popped out of Kaoru's head as she whacked them again. "You baka's! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT KENSHIN IS NO LONGER A GUY!? BUT A GIRL!?" Yahiko sucked his teeth, making a "Tch." sound, and Sanosuke just raised his eyebrows. "Oh yah, I forgot. Shot!"

Yet, Kenshin still remained on the floor, bumps all over his head...unoticed at all...


	4. Shopping

**Chapter 4: Shopping  
**

Kenshin sighed as Kaoru had dragged him out of the house saying that they needed time to bond as "females". Kenshin's reply was. "Sessha does not want to act like a female. Sessha would like to be turned back into a male, that is…Kaoru-dono! Please, no! We should go that way! I can't hop rocks in this kimono…please Kaoru-dono? Sessha knows you told…him…_her_ not to say that she is a he, but…sessha tries, Kaoru-dono!"

Of course, Kenshin was almost in tears before Kaoru decided to go the long way and not hop rocks across toward town for a shortcut.

Another thing the two girls had done. Turn Kenshin into a complete sissy. Kenshin was getting used to these new changes _along_ with new hormones. Kenshin had also been getting used to his new body parts. Trying to sleep upright was extremely hard without putting your face in these two lumps that were present on your chest 24/7. Kenshin had also refused to look at herself by saying. "Sessha feels that he…Kaoru-dono! Please don't look at me like that…I'm sorry Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin also found out that being female had its perks.

He was actually quite faster than he was when he was a guy, but of course, with these lumps in the way, it was actually hard to hit the target without mushing your arm against them or something.

Kenshin discovered that old men really liked to hit on him. One day he was walking into town to get some daikon radishes and the next thing you know, a perverted old man is saying, "Hey lil missy, wanna come home with lil 'ole daddy here?" Kenshin of course had no idea what to say and replied with a, "Sessha has to be going home sir…" The old man refused to leave him alone and walked up to Kenshin. The old man was shorter than Kenshin, surprisingly, and Kenshin was standing there, tofu in hand, when he felt the old man put a hand on his breasts Kenshin made a loud, "ORO!?" and something in Kenshin's mind snapped, and **POW!**

Old man goes flying into the sky and out of Kenshin's way. Its called female instincts Kenshin dear!

Now he was being dragged to buy new clothes. He asked "Kaoru-dono" why he couldn't just wear her old clothing and she said something about him being stubborn and that he would go no matter what he said, or how much he protested. They were in town within a matter of minutes thanks to Kenshin's fail proof plan. They went to a shop called. "Jin's Dream Weaver's" courtesy of Kaoru who recommended it.

"Hello and welcome to Dream Weaver's, how may I help you!?" shouted a girl, way too happy to be human.

"Hello. I'm Kamiya Kaoru; I'm here with my friend shopping. She doesn't know a _thing_ about shopping for woman's clothes!" Kaoru and the crazy girl who was way to happy to be human both laughed and Kaoru's **_lame_** joke.

"Sessha doesn't find it funny. Sessha does not want to be here." Said Kenshin, glaring at Kaoru who hit Kenshin's shoulder playfully.

"Give me something that will look with that wonderful violet eye color she has!" said Kaoru,

"First let me take your measurements!" said the girl…let's call her Fran! That sounds like an ugly sales girl name!

Kenshin glared at Kaoru who gave him a thumbs up as the girl took measurements. "Wow, you're a skinny one!" Kenshin rolled his eyes as **FRAN THE UGLY SALES GIRL** took his measurements.

"WELL DARLING! I HAVE JUST THE THING FOR SUCH A FWINE YOUNG LADY!" shouted Fran.

Kenshin watched as the lady went behind the dressing room doors and into a dark room.  
"Sessha hates everyone." Said Kenshin as he got dressed in his regular gi and hakama. "Sessha does not want foreign clothes on his back, de gazoru yo!"

Fran came back. "Here you go!" she handed what was a blue silk kimono made of the finest silk worm silky silk stuff (What am I talking about??) as she pushed Kenshin into a dressing room and drew the dressing board to cover him. "Go on! Get dressed!" shouted Fran, as she and Kaoru engaged in a conversation about what would look good on Kenshin.

"Oro??" Kenshin held up the kimono as he turned it around to face him. "The things…sessha does for the people he loves."

"Oh yes! This would look…BEAUTIFUL!!" screamed Fran as she and Kaoru laughed and laughed.

"Uh…"

Fran and Kaoru turned around and saw Kenshin. "OH MY GOD! LIKE!" Fran ran over to Kenshin and started playing with his hair. "ITS SO CUTE!" she shouted in his ear as he winced.

"Uh…sessha believes its on right, Kaoru-dono."

"Yes! YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!" She hugged Kenshin. "Alright! Now let's go to the Akabeko! THANK YOU FRAN! SAY THANK YOU TO THE NICE LADY KENSHIN!" shouted Kaoru, smiling an evil glare…and such.

"Thank you, Fran-dono." Said Kenshin, sighing.

Kenshin walked out of the store following Kaoru. "That was fun! Wasn't it Kenshin?"

Kenshin didn't say anything, but started to walk away toward the Akabeko. "Hey Kenshin! Wait up!"

"Kaoru-dono." Said Kenshin as he chewed some of his rice.

"Yes Kenshin?" asked Kaoru as she happily poured a load of sauce that was a clear color onto her rice.

"Sessha feels a little uncomfortable." He said, looking elsewhere

"What do you mean uncomfortable? Is the kimono too tight?" asked Kaoru. "We could go back and you could get a refitting…"

"That's not what sessha's means Kaoru-dono, de gazoru yo…" Kenshin's face was heating up.

_DAMN HORMONES!_

"Well Kenshin, what's wrong?" Kaoru put her bowl of rice down.

"Sessha's back hurts…and its getting really bad right now…is this something that happens to females, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin was blushing and was about as red a tomato as he put the bowl of rice down.

"Oh…OH! Kenshin isn't anything to be embarrassed about, it happens to all females. I just realized I didn't get through telling you about your period yet…" she moved over to sit next to Kenshin, smiling. "Okay. Well what your experiencing right now is called a **cramp. **Cramps…go on right before your period. You use **pads** or **tampons **to soak the blood up. Are you following so far Kenshin?" Kaoru looked at the pale Kenshin.

"I take that as a yes." She went on. "You also have something called **PMS** also known as **Pre Menstrual Syndrome **in which you go through mood swings and get cravings, and all that other good crap. That's pretty much it…" Kaoru smiled at him. "Well Kenshin, let's get going…Kenshin?"

Poor Kenshin had already passed out from what Kaoru had told him.


	5. First Brush With PMS

**Chapter 5: First Brush With PMS**

The scene was beautiful. Meadows, butterflies, trees, flowers, bee's…birds. It was so quiet and peaceful. Kenshin sat in the midst of it all, unharmed by anything but at peace and happy that he could be here and away from the craziness of the real world. In his dream world he was alone, away from anyone and he was a guy still…until…

"HELLO KENSHIN!" shouted a girl as she dropped from the tree, making Kenshin jump.

"What…who are you? What are you doing in sessha's dream? Are you a demon spirit? Oro?"

Another girl jumped from this tree. She was different from the other one with a lighter skin complexion and short black hair. "Why hello Mr. Himura." Said the girl as she put her hands on her hips.

Kenshin made a bit of what sounded like an "Oro?" as he looked at the two strange girls. They were strange indeed.

The first girl he saw wore a green top that merged into a sort of mini-skirt at the bottom. The skirt part was like leaves, and they were colored yellow. Her black hair was long and out, ending at her waist in curls. She wore green gloves and she moved her hands back and forth in a hypnotic way as the other girl giggled. Her feet were bare. "I'm Ayako." She said. She also had on rainbow colored fairy wings

The second girl smiled. "I'm Tama." She wore a purple body suit that had glitter swirls all over it with arm sleeve cup off, while the other flared out at the end on the left, and one pants leg was cut off and was flared out on the right. She wore face paint that glittered around her eyes on the left side, and a clown mask that had the left side cut off. Her short hair was kept in little braids. She smiled at Kenshin and her feet were also bare. She had on purple fairy wings

"Tama…Ayako…WAIT A MINUTE! You're the two responsible for doing that magic stuff to sessha!" yelled Kenshin, stomping his foot.

Ayako thought for a minute. "Us?"

Tama nodded. "Yeah, remember. This is Himura Kenshin. Remember?"

Ayako blinked then nodded. "Oh! Kenshin! Now I remember!" she smiled. "How ya doin Mr. Himura?"

"Tama-dono and Ayako-dono. Please, sessha would kindly ask if you would turn him back into a male now, and he will be most grateful…" Kenshin bowed as Tama looked at Ayako.

"No way, not yet Kenshin!" said Tama shaking her head.

Ayako nodded. "Yah, not yet Kenshin!"

Kenshin blinked. "Oro?"

Ayako smiled and scratched her cheek a bit. "You have yet to understand what it's like to be a female! Tama and me are doing this for a reason. To teach males everywhere what it's like to be a woman! You understand?"

Kenshin blinked once again. "ORO!?"

Tama smiled. "Well Mr. Himura. We came to your dream to tell you about what we have in store for you. You will be a woman for approximately 3 months. Just to get a glimpse of a woman's life!"

Kenshin blinked 3 more times before managing to say something else besides, "Oro??" He gave a pained look at Tama and said, "But why does sessha have too do this? Why not Sanosuke or Yahiko for that matter. Why sessha?"

Tama looked at Ayako. "Yeah Ayako, why did we choose Kenshin, again?"

Ayako sighed. "Because you said that it would be cool to see the Hitokiri Battousai angry as woman, remember?"

"This is what turning me into a girl is about? Seeing me angry?" Kenshin blinked.

"No!" said Tama as she stopped her feet. Ayako flapped her wings as she glared at her friend.

"It was too! You said, "Wouldn't it be fun to see the Battousai angry!" and then I agreed and we went to the dojo and cursed him as a girl!" yelled Ayako.

"NO! It was an experiment, remember!?" shouted Tama, flapping her wings, flying angrily up to her friend.

"Um…excuse me, if sessha might ask. Why me?" asked Kenshin. (ORO!!)

"Huh? Well Mr. Himura, me and Tama have done our research and your are the perfect little guinea pig!" said Ayako, pointing a fairy wand at him.

Tama rolled her eyes. "Must you always point that wand at every single person that we curse?" she asked.

"Sure do! Its my signature…thingy!" said Ayako as she giggled.

Tama shook her head, rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well Mr. Himura, we have to be going now, we'll contact you when we need too again in your dreams…okay?!" said Tama. She waved at him and blew an air kiss to him, as the two girls flew off into Kenshin's little happy meadow bunny dream.

When Kenshin awoke the next day, he awoke with a sore chest…aha. Now wonder. Kaoru had forced him to sleep on his stomach, saying it was bad for his posture if he slept the way he usually did. She has told him that he was a lady now and had to act like one. So he was forced to sleep on his stomach and now his chest hurt…badly.

On top of that she had just got through explaining to Kenshin how to out on a pad and to change pads when one got…lets not go into details shall we?

Well other than that, Kenshin was doing pretty okay. He was beginning to get the hang of washing laundry with those two things in the way, even though Sano wouldn't stop laughing, as he had to readjust his kimono, which definitely wasn't fitting like he wanted it to be. The day Ayame, Suzume and Genkai came back over, Ayame and Suzume were looking for "Uncle Kenny", but instead, Auntie Kenny was there. So the girls pretty much thought Kenshin had dressed up like a girl just to make them laugh and didn't pay to much attention to Kenshin's **different** features.

Overall, Kenshin was coping pretty well with being a girl, and wasn't really crying like a stupid sissy or saying anything about woes and such. He had experienced far greater pain than the evil period monster. And then of course he had to go strain himself and Kaoru had told him, "Kenshin! You are on bed arrest for the remained of the day when you learn that I am not kidding about your health. Is that understood?" Kenshin sighed and said, "Yes Kaoru-dono. Sessha is sorry."

Without any threats to kill Kenshin, things got more boring and then…

There was a knock on the dojo door. Everyone was out except Kenshin who was resting peacefully in his nice warm futon, dreaming of bunnies, and clouds, and naked faeries. The knocking interrupted him from his peaceful sleep as he woke, rubbing his eyes.

"Who could that be?" he asked.

Slipping out of bed, he put on his old gi and hakama and started to walk down the halls of the dojo.

"Sano?" he called out.

"Kaoru-dono!!" He looked in the kitchen.

"Yahiko? Ayame? Suzume? Megumi?" He opened the door to the dining room.

"Where did everyone go?"

More knocking erupted from the dojo door as he walked out into the crisp cool spring evening and opened it. It was the police officer with now eyes. Otherwise known as. **NO EYES POLICE MAN! NEPM!**

"Why hello NEPM." Said Kenshin, smiling.

"Mr. Himura, we need your help in the square! Please come now!" NEPM dragged Kenshin from out of the warm and fluffiness of the dojo and out into the coldness and the non-fluffiness of the streets of Tokyo.

Kenshin felt another cramp coming on as the policeman dragged him through the streets. "Ow…" he said, hand flying to his back to try and massage it.

The policeman dragged Kenshin along the streets of Tokyo to the square. People were running left and right from a fat old guy, who was holding a magical rod, which was turning people into cheese. The policeman woke Kenshin up for something as dumb as this? Oh no…Kenshin was angry all right. And you **never** want to get PMSing Kenshin angry. Kenshin was **very **angry having been torn from his lovely fluffy warm futon for something as dumb as this. And as he stared on at the stupid fat old guy, a golden glint was making its way into his eye…


	6. Sailor Cheese

**Chapter 6: Sailor Cheese**

Oh yes. Angry was Kenshin. So angry he, he was just angry enough to turn into Battousai. And you know how angry Kenshin got when he was _evil Battousai Kenshin!_ **Dun Dun Dunnnnn…**

It was one thing for you to tell Kenshin that a boat of little children was about to be captured by pirates, heck; he would've been up in an instant. But for you to wake him up out of this peaceful dream sleep, and he had cramps hurting like hell was another thing. You just don't mess with a PMSing Kenshin.

That's when Kenshin went crazy. He had first asked the old fat man, "Why are you doing this?" and the old fat man had said, "Aahahahahaaa!! What are **_you_** going to do about it little missy?" and Kenshin didn't say anything, but looked to the floor. The old man twirled his freaking gay rod with a star on top and pointed it at Kenshin, as it took a full 5 minutes to charge up and then the rod emitted a slow attack of small cheeses that were flying at Kenshin at the rate of a turtle. And this actually hit people?

Kenshin merely stepped aside, the golden glint was still in his eyes as he did and it seemed to only get worse. The gay man tried again and he twirled around yelling, "Cheeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee POWER, MAKE UP!" The rod flew up into the sky and the old fat gay man changed was lifted into the sky, as his clothes flew from him and he landed on the ground complete in a sailor moon fuku.

The wind had blown Kenshin's bangs into complete disarray and one bang completely hid the left side of his face. He glared at the guy who had begun his speech saying. "I am Sailor Cheese! I shall eat all cheese! And triumph over all evil that oppose cheese! And that means you." His hands were in that complicated sailor moon type stance, as his hair had mysteriously grown longer.

Kenshin glared at the man and took out the sakabatou. "Sessha told you too leave…and now…YOU SHALL PAY!" SHING! The old man was quick, eh? He was able to block Kenshin's hit that was coming straight down for him. Kenshin rounded off to the side, and struck again, this time Kenshin got a hit and chopped the Sailor Cheese's hair off. Sailor Cheese shouted, "Cheese Star Attack!" Cheeses in the shapes of star flew at the wand at the rate of turtle speed as Kenshin jumped at the man and shouted. "Ryuu Tsui Sen!"

**BAM! **

The old fat man de-transformed, the gay wand had shattered and laid next to him as the collapsed the floor. Usually Kenshin would sheath his sword but not this time.

So the fat old man who had been gaying the towns square up was lying on the floor with his gay little wand that was in shatters. He was reduced to nothing but a cripple on the floor. But no, Kenshin decided that was not enough. So in an attempt to further let out his anger, Kenshin made it his own business to whack the old fat guy a couple of times just for the **hell of it. **The old fat gay man lay crumpled up on the floor, as Kenshin had beat him in the head with the hilt of the sakabatou.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU MADE SESSHA DO!" shouted Kenshin, as the old man started to bleed severely. Of course, everyone was paying too much attention to the usually calm Kenshin gone insane.

Then police officer was telling Kenshin it was okay and that he could go home now but no, Kenshin decked the poor police officer too, as NEPM watched as he left. "I think he was just having a really bad day." Said a police trainee behind him.

Kenshin was walking away and as he did, the yellow glow in his eyes seemed to increase as he disappeared into the shadows.

Everyone was at home, not happily munching on Kaoru's disgusting cooking, when a very pissed looking Kenshin threw the paper rice wall door back. Everyone turned. Ayame, Suzume, Yahiko, Kaoru and Sano. Genkai was letting the girl's sleepover at the house because it was a weekend and they wanted to play with Kenshin. Then, at Kaoru had said hello. Kenshin didn't respond to her warm gesture but walked past everyone and went to the door that led out into the rooms and slammed it behind him, nearly ripping the poor door apart.

"Hey." Said Ayame looking after Kenshin. "What's wrong with Uncle Kenny?"

"Yah! What's wrong with Uncle Kenny." Said Suzume copying what Ayame had just said.

"I don't know," said Kaoru. "Oh well! He'll come around in the morning!"

And with that, everyone went back to eating Kaoru's disgusting cooking.

Meanwhile in Kenshin's dream world…

"Hello Mr. Himura!" shouted a shrill voice.

Angry PMSing Battousai Kenshin looked up at Ayako who was currently very happy because Tama was currently battling "her" demon and couldn't conjure up the magic to make it with Ayako.

"Leave sessha alone, sessha is not in the mood for your stupid antics Ayako. You are the one named Ayako, right?" he asked, still not _amused_ by any one this.

Ayako pretended to cry. "I'm hurt Kenny-chan! You don't want my presence!" she giggled. "Maybe Tama made that part of the spell for PMS too strong…" Ayako said, sitting next too him as her fairy wings stopped flapping and she put her legs under her butt.

"Here…" she said, opening her hands to reveal a blue chocolate chip cookie. "Eat this."

Kenshin glared at the **menacing **cookie and blandly said, "Sessha doesn't want a cookie. Sessha wants to be alone! LEAVE SESSHA ALONE!"

"Okay, okay!" Ayako set the cookie on Kenshin's lap. "Erm…I'll be going now." And with that Ayako flew away, leaving poor wittle PMSing Kenshin alone.

Kenshin had woken up at around midnight. He sighed, recalling how strange he was acting earlier that day. _What did Kaoru-dono call it again? PMS?_ He though to himself as he got up He got dressed in his normal gi, and hakama, tying it together like Kaoru had shown him to make sure no sign of his "boobs" were showing. A feeling of regret started to make its way into our poor little rurouni as he recalled the day's events. He needed some fresh air, some nice spring air. No need to bring the sakabatou, no one would attack him in such a nice night like this.

Opening the rice paper door, Kenshin started to walk down the dojo's hall, and eventually came to the end of the hallway, where he opened the door and started to walk out toward the dojo door.

"Mm…Kenshin! Your so cute…and manly…" Kaoru grinned to herself and drooled in her sleep. No one ever really saw the assistant master like this and it was a rare sight if they did.

"Mrgh…Kenshin…" More drool made its way down her cheek as she sat up and blinked. "Kenshin?" she said, and rubbed her eyes. That's right; Kenshin had come home pissed off at something and went right to bed. "I'll go see how he's doing."

Kaoru yawned as she pushed the covers to the futon off and opened her rooms' door and closed it behind her. She yawned again as she gathered loose strands of her long hair and then let it go behind her back. She knocked on Kenshin's door and when she heard no answer, she peaked in a bit.

**GASP!**

Where was Kenshin?! She looked through the closet but alas no Kenshin anywhere. She checked the kitchen, the training room, and the bathroom, everywhere. So this time, Kaoru didn't call on the help of Yahiko and Sanosuke. She would confront Kenshin herself and ask why he had left without telling anyone that he did.

She changed her clothes and put on her normal training clothes that she would use with Yahiko and ran out of the dojo, looking for Kenshin and where he had gone.


	7. 6th Attack

**Chapter 7: 6th Attack**

That Kenshin! Who does he think he is going out in the middle of the night like this without an escort! I mean…really!

Kaoru was walking furiously, looking for the redheaded rurouni. Kaoru had been walking when she came up to the bridge that led over past a few houses and into the main portion of town.

"KENSHIN HIMURA!"

"Oro? Oh! Kaoru-dono! Sessha can explain. You see, sessha was just thinking! He was going to come back to the dojo soon, Kaoru-dono! Really. Sessha is sorry for scaring you like that—"

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? SOMETHING COULD'VE HAPPENED TO YOU, YOU JERK! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TYPE OF PEOPLE LURK OUT HERE AT NIGHT THAT WOULD LOVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A SWEET, INNOCENT GIRL?!"

"Oro?"

"AND DON'T YOU, "Oro?" ME!"

**Whack!**

"Ororororo…" Kenshin rubbed his swore head with his index fingers and sighed. "Sessha is sorry Kaoru-dono. Sessha promises that it will never happen again."

Kaoru nodded. "It better not. Well, I guess it is a rather nice night tonight. Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

"ORO!? But Kaoru-dono! You just said…never mind…sessha will come." Kaoru giggled as Kenshin followed close behind Kaoru as they walked along the quiet river.

"Kaoru-dono…sessha has been meaning to tell you something," said Kenshin as he and Kaoru walked along.

"Yes Kenshin?" she asked.

"Well Kaoru-dono. You know—"

_I wouldn't tell her just yet Mr. Himura. You still have 82 days left. _Said a voice, only recognizable as Tama's

_Yah Mr. Himura. If you anger Tama…she'll make things **A LOT** worse than they already are…choose wisely. I suggest you say something about daikon radishes…you know…we will strike again when you least expect it…_said Ayako.

"Uh…yes. Well sessha thinks you should know that he…_she_ likes daikon radishes!" Sure, Kaoru thought Kenshin had really lost it about now.

"Uh…that's, erm…very nice Kenshin."

"Yes, sessha believes so too!" said Kenshin smiling. Oh boy, now she probably thought he was a mental case.

They continued to walk back to the dojo in silence as Kenshin groaned. 82 days left? 82 days left as a girl before the spell wore off!? 82 FREAKIN DAYS!!

Just as Kenshin started to think about it, he passed out without a single "Oro"

"Hello Little Yahiko."

"Hrm?"

"Yahiko Myoujin!"

"Shut up busu…"

"YAHIKO!"

"Argh…"

Yahiko opened his eyes. As he did, two girls were leaning over him with blue dust. The smiled at him.

"Hello Mr. Sanosuke Sagaro…"

Yahiko got up instantly. "Who are you, and what are you doing in the Kamiya dojo!?"

Tama grinned. "I'm Tama."

"I'm Ayako." Said Ayako nodding.

"And your about to become our 6th victim." The two said together.

"Oro? Did you hear that Kaoru-dono?" asked Kenshin.

"That yell?" said Kaoru, turning around. "It sounded like Yahiko if you ask me."

Kenshin looked back at Kaoru and nodded. "Let's go back to the dojo. Yahiko might be in trouble or something."

Kenshin nodded, as did Kaoru. "Let's go Kenshin!" She grabbed his hands and they started running for the dojo.

"Yahiko?" asked Kenshin, looking around. "Yahiko?"

They heard what were long yells of. "HIYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" shouted one voice.

Tama-dono and Ayako-dono! Kenshin thought.

"YAHIKO! TAKE YOUR SEX CHANGE LIKE A MAN!" said a more slightly deeper voice than Tama's. Ayako.

_Ayako! Oh no…this couldn't possibly been what she meant! _Kenshin threw back a rice door and blinked as he saw Tama and Ayako, glaring at Kenshin.

"We told you Mr. Himura." Said Ayako, looking at Kenshin.

"We would strike when you least expect it…" Tama threw her short hair back and smirked. "Have fun telling Yahiko the _joys_ of being a girl." She threw her head back and started to laugh, and coughed instead, hacking as Ayako rubbed her back.

"Anyway Kenshin. Ayako and me will strike again! WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! MAUAHAHAHHAAA!!" shouted Tama.

"Yes! MUAHAHAHAHAA!" shouted Ayako.

Ayako smirked as Tama threw down some blue dust and the two girls disappeared. Just as the dust cleared, they saw Yahiko was sprawled out on the floor and they had left the plastic bag in which the blue "Sex Changing" fairy dust was held.

Kenshin picked it up. "Oro?" First he dug his hands in it took a little bit out. It was soft and fell through his hands like sand.

"Kenshin! Be careful with that!" said Kaoru.

"Oro? Sessha was just seeing what it is Kaoru-dono. No need to be alarmed." Kenshin sat the bag down and sat down next to Yahiko who had swirly eyes.

"Yahiko…" he said.

"We should call Megumi first thing in the morning Kenshin and tell her about Yahiko. We can't do anything about it right now…and we should also hand that over to the authorities. Maybe they might be able to find out something about it…" Kaoru said, walking over and poking Yahiko.

Kenshin sighed. 3 months…82 days left…


	8. Akada

**Chapter 8: Akada**

Kenshin sighed as he returned to his room later that night after staying up for about 2 hours with the police trying to tell them about the situation. He just wanted to curl up in his futon and go to sleep…of course; Tama and Ayako were already ahead of him.

"HELLLLOOO MR. HIMURA! ARE YOU FWINE!" shouted a Tama.

"Sessha does not wish to speak with you right now Tama, Ayako." Kenshin saw Ayako step out from behind Tama who pouted.

"Why not?" asked Ayako.

"Sessha does not wish to tell you the reason Ayako-dono." Said Kenshin.

Tama looked at Ayako as her friend smirked at her. "Well…I guess we won't tell you the good and bad news then Mr. Himura," said Tama.

"Oro?" Kenshin perked up. "News?"

"Yes…news, Mr. Himura." Said Ayako.

"Sessha…sessha will listen now," said Kenshin. A little…wait never mind…

"Well Mr. Himura. The good news is, Tama was able to alter the magic she worked on you, so the spell is more bearable. The bad news is…Tama can't remember the words to undo the spell."

It took a minute for the information to process in Kenshin's mind before he screamed. "ORO!?"

Tama sweat dropped, as did Ayako. "Uh…yes. You see, we were going to turn you back into a girl today, and forget about the 82 days left, but Tama seems to have forgotten where she put the spell and can't remember it…so until we find it, our superior Akada said we can't use anymore magic…which sucks…so Mr. Himura. Me and Tama…erm, we'll be going now…bye!" shouted Ayako.

Tama nodded as she blew a bit of pixie dust at dream Kenshin. "Sweet dreams Mr. Himura…"

Kenshin woke up dazed. He yawned and scratched his red hair. It was probably afternoon because he heard the laughter of Ayame and Suzume outside his window.

"Sessha has got to stop sleeping so late." He stood up and put his gi, tying it tight in the front part and hakama, and started to walk toward the entrance of the dojo to begin his morning duties. First he went to go cook lunch and then went to do the laundry. Kaoru had told him that he needed to go out and buy some daikon radishes for the stew that she was going to attempt to make that night.

"Hmm... hm…hm…daikon radishes…daikon radishes, la la la…" Kenshin smiled. "What a great evening, de gazoru yo."

Kenshin had been rounding the corner about to go into the dojo, when a woman stepped in his way. "Oro?" Kenshin had walked right into her and she stumbled backwards. "Oh, sessha is sorry…"

The woman didn't say anything but cocked her head to the side and looked at Kenshin. "Are you Himura Kenshin?" she asked.

"Yes, that is sessha. Is something wrong, de gazoru yo?" asked Kenshin.

"No. My name is Akada. Superior to Ayako and Tama. I have come to see what they've been doing that has the committee so worked up."

Kenshin blinked. "Oh, you mean Ayako-dono and Tama-dono. Well they bother informed sessha last night that Tama lost the solution to the spell that…they created to turn sessha into a girl."

Akada slapped her forehead. "Oh jeez…I always have to clean up behind those two it's sickening." Akada sighed. "I'm sorry Mr. Himura for all the trouble they have caused you."

Kenshin smiled. "Well. Sessha was a bit peeved at them at first, but sessha is learning to cope. He doesn't mind. As long as he gets turned back into a guy, sessha will be happy."

Akada sighed once again. "You don't understand Kenshin. The magic that they've been doing is forbidden. No one is supposed to know that the committee exists. No humans, only…" Akada gritted her teeth as she forced herself to say this. "…witches."

She sighed and wiped a piece of sweet trickling down from her eyebrow. "Ever since the two were born in the 14th century, they have been trouble for us all. Tama has always been the more quiet of the two and keeps to herself while Ayako was the loud one who loved to do stuff. Tama spent her days locked up in her room while Ayako always wanted adventure. Then one day, Tama and Ayako came up with this weird plan. They called it project "Sex Change" otherwise known as to us, "Project GB". GB stands for Gender Bender, and that's when Ayako started to get board of the project and went off to do her own thing. That's when Tama had tested her experiment on a rat and it worked. The plan had worked. She had created a new type of magic. The blue dust she sprayed on you in her made from lots of different plants. That's as far as her report went. The rest is ripped off since an incantation went with it. She is the only one who knows the reversal incantation also. The two have been on the run for two reasons. One is the committee wants the dust before the two can do any more damage and second, they are considered one of the best in the whole agency."

Kenshin gave a low, "Oro…" and whistled.

Akada sighed. "I fear the worse. The committee said if they keep on going on with these retarded experiments, they would be expelled and cast out. I can't let that happen since they are my charges and I am responsible for whatever happens to them."

Kenshin blinked. "Would it help if sessha told you that they have been visiting sessha in his dreams?"

Akada raised an eyebrow. "Oh no, not again." She sighed. "They got a guy in the mental hospital for that."

Kenshin shook his head. "Sessha will not go mental." He smiled. "Sessha has too strong a foundation for that." .

Akada heard something vibrate on her hip. "Well Ken-sama. I have to get going. If I need to tell you something else, I will contact you. Don't tell your friends just yet, I will tell them when the time is right." And with that, Akada took her hand and with a wiggle of her fingers, she disappeared in a poof of snow.

"Oh, how strange sessha's life has become in these past few days…" Kenshin sighed.

"I'm home Kaoru-dono!" shouted Kenshin as he flung open the door to his house, hoping for once to just have some normal time after all the chaos he had been subjected to.

The universe, however, had other plans.

As soon as Kenshin entered the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of Kaoru crazily chasing a squawking chicken as it fled through the kitchen, into the living room. Kaoru briefly stopped her wild chase to turn to Kenshin, "Oh Kenshin! You're home. I was TRYING to make some chicken for dinner, unfortunately, the stupid meat vendor got it wrong and sent me a LIVE chicken instead of a dead one."

Kenshin gave a confused, "Oro?"

Kaoru giggled and patted Kenshin's red head, "Oh Kenshin! You're so adorable."

Kenshin, confused by Kaoru's unusually happy demeanor, thought to himself, s_omeone's had too much sake… _However, he did NOT wish to insult Kaoru-dono, at the risk of being painfully beaten to oblivion with a bokken. He merely smiled and nodded.

Kaoru turned; ready to pursue the wayward chicken, which was probably currently hiding, suddenly turned and stopped. "Oh! Kenshin, two girls stopped by today for you." She paused, pursing her lips, "I think their names were Tama and Ayako."

The dramatic, doom music could literally be heard as Kenshin fainted, radishes dropping to the floor… only to have the chicken run by and eat them.

Kaoru, paying no mind to the fallen rurouni, turned to the chicken, visage marred by an evil look. "Hello Mr. Chicken. Have you met Mr. Knife?"

Kaoru and Kenshin's neighbors shrugged to themselves as they noticed the black silhouette of a woman raising a knife and cackling madly shown through their windows: This sort of stuff happened regularly at the dojo.


	9. Hiko Seijuro

**Chapter 9: Hiko Seijuro**

"Akada." Said Elder Maki. "We have reason to believe that you have found out where Tama and Ayako are? You are responsible for them after all."

Akada looked to the floor. "Elder Maki. I am sorry to say this but…I have lost track of them. The last place I know they were was the Kamiya dojo, talking to Mr. Himura."

Elder Maki raised a bushy gray eyebrow, grasping his podium with wrinkled fingers. "Lost track? Have you forgotten what damaged those two caused in the past Akada? They started a war where many innocent people lost their life. And you say that you lost track? As a superior, you should be more aware of what is going on with your charges. We've already given you one last chance Akada, don't slip up."

Elder Maki leaded back. "That will be all."

Akada sighed and bowed. "Yes, Elder Maki." With that, Akada turned on her heel, cape flaring behind her and started to walk away.

"Do they realize how much trouble they are causing me? They are my charges and as their superior…guardian…I would put it as even, friend…why do they have to do this too me?" Akada sighed and walked on through the long corridor, which was lit by candles, hung on each side.

She reached the door and pushed the heavy wooden doors opened. She glanced to her side and looked out at the window at the side of her. "Is it…is it revenge, or are they trying to get some type of message or something across…does it…does it have to do with anything about 500 years ago?"

2 women stood in the distance. One with long black hair, the other with short brown hair. The one with the long black hair was holding a baby that was getting restless. The woman with the short brown hair was holding a baby that was sleeping soundly.

_"Tama…" The one with the brown hair had said. "Please grow up strong and become the best that you can. Don't ever lose sight of your dreams."_

_She took a knife out of the bag that had been slung around on her hip and pierced the babies skin as blood trickled down her pale white skin, the baby cried out a bit but went back to the soundless sleep. The woman pressed her finger to the babies skin and the wet blood trickled down her finger._

_The woman with the black hair said, "Ayako…" and kissed the restless babies cheek. "Protect Tama as if she were your sister. Never let your heart fail to protect the ones that you love."_

_She did the same thing the woman with the brown hair did, taking the blood and marking a line of Ayako's blood on Tama's skin, and Tama's blood on Ayako's. _

_"The ritual is complete Yoko," said the woman with the brown hair. "Now…we wait…"_

_The black haired woman named, Yoko, nodded. "Yes, Jun."_

_The two women turned around as they heard the crunching of boots against leafs. "We are here for Ayako Kisuragi and Tama Satomo." Yoko clutched little Ayako to her who was now crying, and as if it were a chain reaction, Tama started to cry too. _

_Blood stained the ground, as the bodies of Yoko and Jun were laid sprawled out. Ayako was crying and Tama was fidgeting, and making whimpering noises. "They were fools to think they could have escaped us like that. Jun and Yoko defied the committee and revealed their selves to humans. They knew the consequences. They bared a half-breed. Both of them. Tama and Ayako shall be put to death—"_

_"They shall not, Hideki." Said a voice from behind the man holding the two babies. _

_"Elder Junko!" said Hideki as the thin woman came to up to him, looking at the two babies who stared back at her with wide-open eyes. "So these are Tama and Ayako. Spitting images of their mother's might I say." Junko took both babies in her arms, and Ayako gave a little coo and Tama put her thumb in her mouth. _

_"They shall live among us as if they were full breeds. They shall never know what happened to their parents or if they are half-breeds or full breeds. This shall be kept a secret from them until their 612th birthdays, the equivalent to 18 in human years. Am I clear in my words Hideki?" asked Junko._

_"Yes…Elder…" He bowed and as Junko turned Hideki smirked. The half-breed Ayako and Tama would find out and he would see to it that they were killed both killed before they turned 18. _

Akada sighed. "No need to ponder for the past is behind us and we can do nothing about it."

She continued to walk on back to her quarters to prepare for her tracking of Ayako and Tama.

"Yahiko? He…YAHIKO!? OH MAN THIS IS PURE!" Sanosuke had just found out that Yahiko had been turned into a girl a week ago by Tama and Ayako and was currently laughing his ass off from it.

"When? How? Why? Where? When? What!?" he had asked over and over again and received a, "You ask too many questions for sessha, Sanosuke." From Kenshin.

Of course…Yahiko's visit to Megumi wasn't any picnic in the park either. Megumi was startled to see that another member of Kenshin-gumi had gotten hit with the dust and she was telling Yahiko that she needed to check him out to make sure that his new body was working correctly. Yahiko had to learn the same way as Kenshin had that perverted little boys liked him and liked to try to catch looks up the old kimono Kaoru had found for him to wear. Then again, Yahiko just couldn't stop fondling his chest, and Kaoru's new name for him was hentai, thus beginning a new level of fights.

Of course, that didn't stop Kaoru from training Yahiko, he still had to train even if he complained that his arms tired to easily and that this "weak" girl body wasn't made to fight, Kaoru still said that he had to practice.

Kenshin on the other hand was in thought too much. What did Akada mean by _its happened before?_

The dream from last night where Akada appeared in it and gave him more info on Ayako and Tama and what they planned on doing my defying the counsel.

_"Before?"_

_"Yes before Mr. Himura."_

_"What do you mean by before Akada-dono."_

_"Please, just call me Aki."_

_"Okay, de gazoru yo."_

_"Before…what Tama and Ayako are doing. They have defied the counsel before…I must go before the committee finds me missing. Mr. Himura, whatever you do, do not tell your friends yet. They will find out when the time is right."_

Kenshin sighed. Things were rather weird since he had met Ayako and Tama but this was downright insane. He had thought that the two girls had just gone around chasing men and turning them into woman? Akada had told them they had a reason behind this. She had told him that Tama and Ayako were half and half. That their mothers were witches…and that their father's…that would make them half witch, half human…but that didn't—

"Well if it isn't baka-deshi!"

Kenshin looked up, caught of guard a little by the one and only! Tra la! Hiko Seijuro 13th!

"Shi…shishou??" Kenshin blinked. Just what in Kami-sama's name was **he** doing here? At this time? With Kenshin looking…well…looking like this!?

"Baka-deshi! Long time no see, I got your letter!" Hiko waved as letter at Kenshin who was obviously confused about why the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu master had come to see **him** of all people. Why did he come to see **baka-deshi?**

Well…let's just say, Tama and Ayako had something too do with it….


	10. Perverted Dreams

**Chapter 10: Perverted Dreams  
**

"Shishou? What are you doing here?" Kenshin was obviously surprised by why Hiko Seijuro the 13th, tra la la! Was doing here. "You know baka deshi! That letter put tears in my eyes! You poor thing, you!" Hiko took Kenshin's hand in his and patted it, anime tears streaming down his face. Then he hugged Kenshin. "Don't worry baka deshi, it's alright! Were all here for you!"

Kenshin blinked. "What do you mean by, we?"

Aoshi and Saitou stepped out from behind Hiko. "WE!" The three shouted.

Kenshin blinked. What the heck was going on here? Why was everyone acting so sympathetic?

"That's right Kenshin! Were all here for you!" Saitou smiled. SAITOU SMILED AT KENSHIN!

Aoshi stroked Kenshin's back. "Here…lemme give you a massage, Kenshin!" Aoshi got as far as revealing everything above Kenshin's chest before Kenshin yelled, "STOP!"

He stepped up; pulling the gi tightly around his shoulders and said, "Just what do you think you are doing to sessha!?"

"Kenshin…Kenshin we lurve you…gimme a kiss Kenshin." Said Aoshi walking over to Kenshin and grasping the confused rurouni's shoulders. "Pucker up my dear Kenshin." He said and leaned and that's when Kenshin…

"AHHH!!" Kenshin bolted up and hit something hard in the darkness of his room. Just a dream…only a dream. Thank god…but when did he go to sleep? Was shishou really there? Kenshin rubbed his head and looked around in the darkness. What had he just hit? He heard a small wail, almost like a cry as he heard a familiar voice. Ayako's.

"Dammit Tama, I told you not to hover over him like that! Didn't I tell you the dream would freak him out, you bum!"

Tama rubbed her head and whined yet again. "Mr. Himura, can you hear us?"

"Duh he can hear us, stupid!" Ayako hit Tama in the head and Tama whined again.

"Why does everyone seem to be abusing me today?" she asked. Turning her head to look at Kenshin who's violet eyes she could see in the dark she said, "'Ello Mr. Himura! My name's British Tama!"

Ayako sweat dropped. "Uh…don't mind her Mr. Himura. So, did ya have a nice dream?" she wiggled her eyebrows.

"It was you who made sessha have such a disturbing dream, wasn't it?" said Kenshin, pointing a finger at the innocent looking Ayako.

"Well…actually it was Tama…but yes, I helped! Mr. Himura, you passed out when Hiko-sama appeared!"

So he wasn't dreaming. Hiko Seijuro the 13th, tra la la! Was actually at the dojo, and was actually going to see Kenshin as a woman. Kenshin had a hunch though. It was probably the two of them. Tama and Ayako. They had written a letter to Hiko (tra la la) saying that Kenshin needed him or something.

"Dear Shishou." Began Tama, pulling a long role of parchment. The letter. "Dear Shishou…I regret to inform you that I am dying from a very rare disease! Please come soon, Kenshin!"

Tama laughed. "And we put a spell on it to make him seem convinced that it was you!"

Ayako nodded. "Quite a brilliant plan if I say so myself!" She grinned at Kenshin, who was obviously getting…what was this? TEARS!? This was the first time that Kenshin had shed tears on them!

"Why…why **sniff** must you do th-this **sniff sniff** to sessshaaaaaa?" Kenshin burst into tears and Ayako looked at Tama who sighed, sweat dropped and put a hand to her face, sliding it through her bangs and shaking her head.

Ayako smiled nervously at the crying Kenshin. She rubbed his back and said, "There there. It's all right. We came here Mr. Himura to tell you that the spell is going to be reversed quicker than you thought! Turn's out, Tama has another alternate spell fixer upper thingy…thingy…"

Tama gave Ayako a nervous look and shook her head. "Erm…what's wrong Tama?"

Tama giggled nervously. "I've…lost the alternative also…"

"YOU WHAT?!" shouted Ayako, nearly strangling the poor girl.

Why were all of these people get in the dojo, and for what reason? Aoshi, Hiko and Saitou. They were all sitting in the kitchen of the Kamiya dojo. First Hiko had arrived then Saitou came by with a note that was written in Kenshin's handwriting and then is was Aoshi who had said that he wanted to see Kenshin.

Kaoru looked at the 3 strange occupants. Hiko was currently singing a happy tone! Saitou was staring…at nothing in particular and Aoshi was causally leaning against the wall.

"Hiko, just what on earth are you doing here?" asked Kaoru, looking at Hiko.

Hiko just grinned. Something was obviously up to see Hiko grin…like that. He sipped some sake and breathed a sigh of content. "I just came to see how my favorite baka-deshi was doing." He said, smiling and getting happy chibi eyes.

Everyone sweat dropped. "Your…favorite baka-deshi?" asked Sanosuke, raising an eyebrow.

That's when they heard two girls scream. "AYAKO! GET OUT OF HIS FREAKIN WAY! KENSHIN HAS GONE INSANE!"

They ran by the kitchen just soon enough to stop and run toward the cooking area. Kenshin was chasing after them, sakabatou in hand as Tama was currently on the highest shelf and Ayako was on top of another shelf opposite her. Kenshin was walking toward the two girls who were currently arguing from across the room as Kenshin glared at Ayako.

"SESSHA HAS HAD ENOUGH!" shouted Kenshin as Tama jumped from the shelf and onto Sanosuke's head, then Aoshi's, Saitou's and finally Hiko, when she turned around Kenshin had jumped over the table and was currently going to slash her in half, Tama dodged to the left as Ayako fled through a rice paper window. "YOU PUNK!" shouted Tama, following Ayako as she jumped over Kenshin and landed on the sink.

"Baka-deshi! Just what do you think you're doing!?"

Kenshin turned around and saw that he wasn't dreaming. "Shi…shou…so Tama-dono was right…why…must they do this…to sessha…"

And with that, Kenshin fainted once again!


	11. Letters

**Chapter 11: Letters**

"My baka-deshi…a woman?" Ever since the letters that Ayako and Tama had devised and been ripped up, and the spell that had been placed on each of them were gone. Aoshi was currently still confused about how he had gotten to the dojo when just a moment ago he was currently doing something with Misao. Something I shall not say for little children might be reading this, tee hee. Saitou was…well Saitou wasn't really doing anything. He had been sleeping in his office for a moment of peace and quiet. Now, they were all gathered in this cramp little room of the Kamiya dojo, Kenshin currently on the floor, with swirly eyes, and Kaoru had just gotten through explaining everything from the first time Kenshin woke up and found out he was a girl, she skipped the part about getting his period and then went straight to the part about Tama and Ayako.

Saitou obviously being the…well, just being himself thought of the perfect blackmail. When Kenshin woke up, he would use his position of authority and say that he could charge Kenshin with being…a girl? …what?

Aoshi on the other hand was taking the news fairly calmly. He had said that it was nothing big, for odd stuff always happened at the dojo. Kaoru glared at him and he received a bokken to the head. When Kenshin finally did awake, he still had the sakabatou in hand was met with identical glances from Hiko and Aoshi. Saitou's was that of confusion, amusement, laughter (??) and blackmail (!?). It took a while for our not to bright at times Kenshin to figure out what was going on. Finally it struck him, and he shouted "ORO!? SHISHOU!?"

No one said anything for a little while before Hiko took a sing of his sake and looked at his appetence. "Baka-deshi." He began and took another swig of sake and gave a sigh of satisfaction. "Shishou?" Kenshin responded.

"BAKA-DESHI! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL YOUR MASTER ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?" shouted Hiko in a very un-Hiko Seijuro the 13th (tra la la) manor. It just so happens, Kenshin didn't want to tell Hiko about this…change that had happened in fear of what might happen. Kenshin wasn't a wuss…but sometimes…he just couldn't tell his "shishou" everything that happened to him.

Then it was Saitou's turn. "Well, well, well. This is something I never expected to see." He took off his policeman's hat. "The Hitokiri Battousai as a girl."

Kenshin gritted his teeth. He did not need any crude comments from the Mibu Wolf right about now. What he wanted to do was get Ayako and Tama to turn him back for they were getting very annoying. He was okay with them in the beginning, saying how they would turn him back, but now, Kenshin's girl bitch mode was coming into effect, and he wanted to just wrap his arms around Tama or Ayako for that matter and strangle on of them.

"Look at him, in his own world again. Or should I say _her?"_

Kenshin looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes, passing out, once again.

"Tama…" said Ayako. She and Tama were currently flying through the sky on a purple chocobo.

"Yah?" asked Tama.

"Please remind me why we cursed Yahiko again?" she asked.

Tama blinked. "No we didn't…"

"Yes we did." Said Ayako.

"Doh…your right." Said Tama as the chocobo flew through the sky, purple feathers flying every which way.

"Hm…maybe we should go talk to him when he goes to sleep tonight!" said Ayako, smiling at Tama who grinned.

"Well…I guess it couldn't hurt." Tama gave the chocobo a soft kick and the chocobo yelled, "KWEH!" and sped down toward the dojo.

"Little Yahiko!"

"Huh? Tsubame!?" yelled Yahiko, running to his lurverrrr. (Don't ask 0)

"Little Yahiko!"

"Wait Tsubame!"

Tsubame turned around and saw Yahiko running toward her. "Oh…little Yahiko…how I love you do!"

The two embraced in a warm hug when Yahiko opened his eyes and saw that he was about to kiss Tsubame that his head was indeed in a bust of a woman. "AH!" Jumping back he saw it was…_she_. One of those two girls that had cursed him with this…retarded fate. Tama. Tama laughed. Yahiko was at lost for words and was as red as a turkey! (??). That comment made no sense what so ever, but whatever. "JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DOING, BUSU!?" he yelled.

A vein popped of Tama's head. "BUSU!? I'LL SHOW YOU BUSU YOU LITTLE…"

"TAMA!" shouted a voice from behind her. "I never said to beat up, Yahiko! I just said to tell him what we told Kenshin! I NEVER SAID TO DRESS UP LIKE TSUMABE EITHER!"

Ayako.

"Dammit Ayako…always ruining my fun. Anyhow, yes, what did we want to tell Yahiko again?"

Ayako nearly fell backwards from the stupidity of her friend. "About how long…he's gonna be a girl, remember?"

"Oh yah! Well Yahiko, we have good news…sorta…all right! The news isn't good at all. Bluntly…to put it is…your going to have to spend 3 months as a girl…" Tama scratched her cheek as Yahiko got up, holding a real sword? (Where'd that come from?)

"You mean to tell me, that you turn me into a girl for your own stupid busu reasons…AND NOW YOU CAN'T TURN ME BACK!?" yelled Yahiko.

Tama looked at Ayako and they both nodded. "That's about it." Said Ayako.

"ARGH!!" Yahiko ran after them shouting. "YOU DIE BUSU'S BOTH OF YOU!!"

The next morning…

Kenshin sighed. Now that Saitou and Hiko knew, every time they looked at Kenshin Hiko could only say, "No one but my baka-deshi," while Saitou would just snort and walk on. Aoshi had left a long time ago because unlike the rest of the occupants in the dojo, he valued his sanity. Hiko left a little while after saying that things in the dojo were too insane and he needed his mountain home, and Saitou had just left because he still had his police job to attend too. This…was a great relief for Kenshin.

A week after everyone left, policeman NEPM came to the dojo with _urgent_ news. "I have a letter for Mr. Himura!" shouted the NEPM as he knocked on the dojo doors and Kenshin looked up from his laundry and went to go retrieve the letter from policeman NEPM. Kenshin opened the letter after NEPM left and in the messiest Kanji known to man he read it:

_Dear Mr. Himura,_

_It me and Tamaaaaaa. Good news! Tama found the reversal effect for the spell! We'll be coming around noon tomorrow! But make sure completely alone, that's the only way we'll be able to reverse it!_

_Lots and Lots of love!_

_Tama and Ayako!_

Kenshin blinked. This was spur of the moment, should he go? Well, Kenny-chan had no choice. If it was going to turn him back into a guy and end this madness, he decided that he should go.


	12. Hideki

**Chapter 12: Hideki**

Tama sat, perched from the top of a house. "Ayako?" she asked, looking at her friend who sat next to her.

Ayako smiled at her. "Yah?" she asked.

"Well…Mr. Himura is pretty peeved at us from what we did to him…remember?" she asked, looking at Ayako, and then sighed. "I'm starting to feel a little bad…you know?" she asked.

Ayako looked at her friend and said, "You're not getting soft on me are you?"

Tama looked at Ayako. "SOFT!? WHO!? ME!? HA! I hardly get soft. You're the loud one, I'm the quiet one remember?"

Ayako raised her eyebrows. "What?" she asked.

Tama held her head. "Never mind, let's go."

Ayako nodded and jumped from where she was sitting. "Okay, Tamago!"

Tama sweatdropped. "Why did you just call me Egg?"

It had been a week since all of this weirdness had happened. It had taken Kenshin about a good full 4 days to finally decide if he were to go or not, he knew that they would most likely wait for him to decide, and that they would be waiting in some wierd spot for Kenshin as usual, like actually IN the river and not out of it, or on top of the dojo's doors, and not standing on the floor like any normal person would. Today was the day he would go meet them. Of course...something had always prevented him from doing so.

"Kenshin, where are you going?" asked Kaoru, looking as Kenshin had started to walk toward the dojo's door.

Kenshin turned to face Kaoru who was staring back at him. "Oh, Kaoru-dono. Sessha will be right back, he was only going to get some daikon radishes..."

Kaoru blinked. She was well aware what daikon radishes was a sign of. PMS. "Oh no, Kenshin! You get in bed and rest! I will get the radishes!"

Kenshin blinked. "Kaoru-dono, what are you talking about, sessha is fine."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin, and glared at him. "IF I SAY GET IN BED! YOU GET IN BED!"

"But Kaoru-dono!" protested Kenshin, risking a beat in the head with the bokken.

WHACK!

Correct. He should've just listened to Kaoru at the start and gone on ahead and go back to bed like she had instructed. Kenshin passed out on the floor with swirly eyes momements later.

"Hello Mr. Himura!" said Tama, as she smiled at Kenshin who had opened his eyes.

"Miss us?" asked Ayako, leaning down to give him a little peck on the forehead.

"Oro?!" exclaimed Kenshin.

Ayako blinked. "Uh...nevermind, anyhow, how ya feelin Mr. Himura?"

"SESSHA IS FINE! WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP ASKING HIM THAT!?"

Tama and Ayako sweatdropped. "So Mr. Himura...we heard you talking in your sleep...quite a dream you had, eh?"

Kenshin gave a cute, innocent look and added an "Oro?" to make it even more cute.

Tama looked at Ayako then at Kenshin. She looked at Ayako who nodded and gave her friend an evil look as she nodded and Tama giggled. In her closest voice to Kenshin's, Tama said, "Kaoru-dono...I love you...KAROU-DONO!!" She smiled at Kenshin, who looked for horrified. She continued. "Kaoru-dono. Sessha believes it would be wise to do it somewhere else and not here. KAORU-DONO! NOT HERE!"

Kenshin glared at Tama. "Tama-dono, do you take pride in embarassing sessha?" he asked.

"No...we just think it's funny to aggravate you, Kenny-chan! That's all." said Ayako, smiling.

"Sessha does not find it funny at all, Tama-dono, de gazoru yo." said Kenshin, about to sit up.

"Mr. Himura is that a tamago on your head?" said Tama, sweatdropping.

"Sessha...YOU DID IT TO SESSHA AGAIN!" shouted Kenshin, pointing a finger at the Tama.

"Did what?" asked Tama, as more sweatdrops appeared on her head.

"Sessha has no idea, Tama-dono. Where did Ayako-dono go?" asked Kenshin.

"She was here a moment ago...actually, I have no clue." said Tama.

"Kenshin! Are you talking to yourself again, honestly, I think those girl's did more than turn you into a girl, I think they modified your brain!" called Kaoru's voice from behind the rice paper door.

"Talk to you later, Mr. Himura! I must go find where Ayako went!" said Tama, smiling. "Adios!" she said, jumping out of the window, and falling into some bushes underneath it.

"Kenshin? Are you okay?" asked Kaoru as she opened the door.

"Yes, sessha is fine...why do you ask, Kaoru-dono?" asked Kenshin, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Oh...well...if you say so. Were about to go into town, you wanna come, or are you still in..."The Phase." asked Kaoru, raising her eyebrows slightly.

Kenshin blinked. "Oro?"

Kaoru sweatdropped. "Nevermind, do you want to come Kenshin?"

Kenshin shrugged. "No Kaoru-dono, sessha thinks he will sit here and look after the dojo today. You have fun."

Kaoru started to walk away. "If you say do Kenshin."

It was around mid-evening when Tama had come back, with Ayako who was currently being tugged by the hair. "KENSHIN! KENSHIN!!"

Kenshin looked up from his laundry and saw Tama. She was smiling like the first time he had seen here. Ayako followed, rather was dragged behind her. "KENSHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!" shouted Tama.

Ayako winced as Tama stopped abruptly and slammed against her friend's back.

Kenshin dried his hands on his hakama and looked at Tama. "What is it, Tama-dono?" he asked.

"I FOUND IT! I FOUND ITTTTTTTTTTTT!" she said.

"Oro? Found what Tama-dono?" asked Kenshin.

Ayako winced and said, "The cure, she found. It was in her pant's pocket the whole time."

Kenshin blinked. "Oro..."

"Yes...ORO! Say "Oro" one more time!" said Tama.

Kenshin blinked again, "Oro?"

"I'm gonna miss you Kenshin..." said Tama, hugging Kenshin.

"What are you talking about Tama-dono?"

"Exactly what I said, Kenshin...exactly what I SAID!" shouted Tama.

Kenshin blinked and stepped back. "You're not Tama-dono are you?" he said, reaching for the sakabatou at his side.

"Oh? What gave my cover away?" asked the not-so-Tama person (??)

Kenshin narrowed his eyes. "What Tama-dono only visits me once a day, and if it's something important she will contact me in person. Another thing, Ayako-dono would have bitten Tama-dono's arm off if being led like that, and besides, both Tama-dono and Ayako-dono address sessha as "Mr. Himura" not "Kenshin"."

The IMPOSTER Tama sighed, dropping "Ayako" to the floor. "So you found me out, big deal, I don't know if you have heard of me or not from Tama and Ayako but I am Hideki, and I have been assigned by Elder Maki to kill all of Tama and Ayako's little, "guinea pigs". You know that letter you recieved? That wasn't from Tama and Ayako, that was from me, prepare to die Kenshin."


	13. The Truth

**Chapter 13: The Truth**

Akada sighed. How was she going to tell the girls about what the committee was going to do? Kill Mr. Himura? That was just absurd. If they wanted to deal with Kenshin the right way, why didn't they just do what they always did? Make up some close to real story about what they had been doing all that time while they had been in a different state.

"Aki!" Akada looked over to where the voice had come from and she saw Ayako in the stain glass window that was to the left of her, staring at her, with Tama who was on her back, sleeping she presumed.

"What are you two doing here?!" shouted Akada. Ayako smiled, and she pushed her way through the window and dropped softly to the ground, and readjusted Tama on her back.

"We came back because Tama needs to go back to her old lab. It's been so long since we came back…Akada, is something the matter?" asked Ayako.

Akada looked at Ayako then the sleeping Tama. "I'll tell you later, but first, why is Tama on your back?"

Ayako looked at her childhood friend and sighed. "Poor girl, she's been up late at night trying to get things back to normal in Tokyo. Says it's time to fix things so the committee stops worrying…she fell asleep on the chocobo and I was forced to carry her on my back for then."

Akada looked at Tama and then Ayako. "Come!" She motioned Ayako to follow her into her chambers, Ayako following her.

Akada closed the door behind Ayako and looked at her charge. "What's wrong?" asked Ayako.

"It's the committee. I would be angry with you if I could, but now is not the time. The committee is taking drastic measures to stop the madness you two have caused." Said Akada. She sat on her bed and sighed. "Do you know how hard it's been to stall and make up lies for you?"

Ayako sat Tama on the bed, and pulled the covers up over her friend's shoulders. "What do you mean, drastic measures? Tama and I have been very careful about what we've been doing. What does the committee care about what we've done? All we want is a little humor and to make some human friends…that's all…"

Akada gripped the red tips of her stylish hair. "You don't get it! The committee is furious with you two! Do you know how much trouble you have caused?"

Ayako sat down next to where Tama was. "All we wanted was a little fun. Tama and me never wanted trouble. You know this as well as I do…what is wrong with that uptight committee anyway?"

Akada sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. "Ayako. Do you know how many rules you and Tama have broken?" she asked. "You know human to human…witch whatever contact is forbidden! You and Tama have broken a total of 110 rules! The committee said they would take matters into their own hands if they didn't see you clean up your_ mess_ in a matter of 3 days. I fear that they have taken action already…"

Then it hit Ayako. "Mr. Himura!" she said.

Akada looked at Ayako and said nothing. "…"

"What if they do something to Mr. Himura!? What will they do to him!?" shouted Ayako.

"…The action is…that they will…" Akada looked at her hands.

Ayako looked at Akada and crawled over to her and looked into Akada's red-orange eyes and looked at her pleading. "What Akada, what!? What will they do!?" she yelled.

"They will kill him." Said Akada.

Ayako covered her mouth. "Something as drastic as that!?" she yelled.

Akada nodded and looked at Ayako. "Then we have to do something! But…" Before Ayako could get any more words out, the door burst open and the committee stood there, 4 guards and Elder Maki with Elder Junko. "Lady Junko, Elder Maki…I…" said Akada, looking at the two. Elder Maki held a face of that outrage and frustration. Elder Junko had a sad look on her face, as if sympathetic to the whole thing.

"SO YOU WERE HARBORING THEM ALL ALONG!?" shouted Elder Maki, looking at Akada with rage. "IS THAT IS AKADA!? YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING THESE FUGITIVES HERE!?"

"Who are you calling a fugitive!?" shouted Ayako, glaring at Elder Maki.

"Please Elder Maki! Hear me out! I would never do anything like that to defy the counsel! Never!" Akada looked at Ayako and then looked back at Maki. "But as my charges, I have a duty of protecting them from harm and I wasn't going to turn them over to you like you have instructed! If you at least hear them out, hear their side of the story, maybe you might reconsider!" Akada looked at Elder Maki with pleading eyes.

"Ha! I've never heard something so ridiculous!" shouted Elder Maki, folding his wrinkled arms hidden by his robes.

_Et…drac tu es…druh dusa te eh…_

Ayako smirked as she realized that chant. She joined in, taking the blue dust from her robes. Tama's plan all along. She wasn't asleep she was waiting for the right moment to cast the spell. Turn Elder Maki into a girl eh? Tama was more insane than Ayako thought she was. "Stop them!" shouted Elder Maki.

_Ecreta, santos, felia…binsay, vegi…oc to ru…shun…_

Tama sat straight up and shouted. "NOW AYAKO!" Ayako threw the contents of the bag at Elder Maki, as Tama got up from the bed, and jumped onto the floor, zipping up her boots. "Argh…what…is this feeling…I…need…chocolate…"

"Eh…Elder, it appears they have turned you into a girl." Said guard number one.

"A WHAT!?" shouted Elder Maki.

Tama gave him a raspberry and giggled. "You dun mess with Tama and Ayako, yo!" she said, having on her ghetto attire. "When'd you switch clothing?" asked Ayako, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"A second ago." Said Tama in response. Her clothes were extremely baggy and she wore a rather large, Y, chain on her neck.

"GET THEM!" shouted Elder Maki.

"But sir, that girl is wearing a holy Y chain!" said guard number two.

"JUST GET THEM!" shouted Elder Maki, pointing a saggy old ladyfinger at Tama and Ayako. Akada stepped back as her two charges, smiling devishily, and ran for her, hooking arms around her arms and pulling her toward the window, as they disappeared in a shadows of blue swirls.

As Elder Maki left because of his "womanly…hurting…" Junko smiled and said, "Please be safe…all of you."

Kenshin dodged yet another swing from Hideki. "What's the matter? Are you trembling over my supreme power?" he asked. Kenshin jumped back as Hideki swung his massive axe once again. "Where'd he go?!" shouted Hideki, looking back and forth.

"And you call yourself a fighter?" said Kenshin's "Way to cute "Ororororo" voice as Tama had described it, from atop of Hideki's axe.

(That ring a bell for anyone around reading this? :points to Sano's "rice flipper" you see, there's this thing in my kitchen that looks exactly like that thing he carries…I can't remember the name the Zanbato? I think, anyhow, it makes me thing of this thing my mom uses on cakes and I call it a rice flipper, back to the story!)

**Shing! (I love those stars )**

Kenshin was on the floor, as he sheathed the sakabatou and looked at Hideki fell to the ground. "Mr. Himura!" shouted a voice from behind him. "Mr. Himura! Are you okay!?" said Ayako, looking at Kenshin.

"Sessha is fine Ayako-dono…what's wrong, did something happen?" asked Kenshin, as Ayako bit her lip as Tama currently tried to get Akada to get out of her shock by slapping her teacher a few times. He looked at Ayako. She had tears in her eyes and it looked like she had been through one hell of a ride. "Oh Mr. Himura!" shouted Ayako, slinging her arms around Kenshin and hugging him. "ORO!?" shouted Kenshin as Ayako cried into his gi. "We were so worried they got you!"

"Who got me, Ayako-dono, de gazoru yo?" asked Kenshin, obviously confused about what in the world Ayako was talking about. "Oro…"

Ayako shook Kenshin and he was ever more confused. "The committee! We were afraid they got you! Mr. Himura!" shouted Ayako. She started to cry once again. That's when they heard a loud thud behind Ayako and they turned around. Tama was on the floor, as Akada glared at her charge and then looked at Kenshin and smiled.

"Oh thank goodness you're alright Mr. Himura." Said Akada and smiled. Tama groaned and sat up. "You see, I was about to come back and tell you the good news that I could turn you back into a man again—"

"WAIT A DARSH GON MINUTE!" shouted Tama getting off, still in her ghetto clothes, brushing herself off. "You change him back? Ha! You hardly know what went into that dust that changed Mr. Himura into what he is now. Mr. Himura, look at me when I'm talking to you!" shouted Tama.

"Someone is here." Said Kenshin, walking to the dojo door and opening it. Tama, Ayako and Akada all gasped, as they saw one person in the whole world that they would never thought they would see on earth. Lady Junko.


	14. Promise?

**Chapter 14: Promise?**

"Lady Junko." Said Tama, standing up, looking at the young woman. Actually…she wasn't all that young. In human years she would be 21. In witching years she was 714. She looked at Tama and Ayako, then to Kenshin, who was even more confused as ever, then to Akada, who was currently choking Tama, who had her arms around Akada's arms, and looking a bit embarrassed, for displaying such a "violent" act in front of Elder Junko.

"That's ELDER JUNKO!" she hissed at her charge.

"Akada, it is alright. I trust that you were all safe in your journey?" she asked, looking between a crying Ayako, an angry Akada, and a way to happy Tama. Sweat drops gathered on her head. Junko coughed and cleared her throat. "You must be Mr. Himura." She said, smiling at Kenshin, who was currently being dragged to the floor by Ayako who was still crying.

"Um…yes, …-dono?" said Kenshin, obviously confused.

"Junko, Lady Junko." Said Lady Junko Drunko the Frunko! Eh…never mind.

"Junko-dono, then. Sessha is happy to meet you Junko-dono." Said Kenshin, trying to pry Ayako's nails off of his gi. He failed miserably as Ayako brought him all the way down to the ground as they lost balance and fell over, Ayako's books over on Kenshin's stomach, and Kenshin with swirly eyes on the floor.

"Oh dear…are they alright?" asked Junko, looking at Tama and Akada who were currently in a fight. Tama was in nothing but her long t-shirt, Y chain and bandana as Akada had ripped off her pants from earlier. Akada's hair had actually been ripped out and there was a small patch on her head with no hair on it whatsoever.

"Oh my…" said Junko, looking at the scene and then smiled. "I guess I'll just wait for the other's to come back then!" she smiled and laughed, sitting down on the dojo's steps.

"Committee, oro?" asked Kenshin as things had cooled down. He, Ayako, who was currently still sobbing but now on Tama's shirt, Tama, who wasn't really paying attention to Ayako, but more to Akada, Akada, who was fuming at her charge for ripping such a large portion of her hair out and Junko who was talking to Kenshin.

"Yes, the Trilia committee. Or the TC for short. Ever since Ayako and Tama's mother's exposed them selves to the human world, they have been after the two girls. Please Mr. Himura. Forgive them for what they have done…but you see, the two of them, Tama and Ayako, the two really weren't ever…accepted in the community. You see, the two of them were half breeds, and half breeds in our world are looked down upon." Junko looked down at her hands and sighed. "By defying the committee they proved to show that they're just as good as anyone else. I have…well…I guess you can say I have been on their side from the very beginning. Since Tama first confided in me when she was only but 272, 8 in human years, about her plans of "greatness" as she put it." She smiled at the Tama and Ayako, the looked back toward Kenshin who was looking at her with the famous "Kenshin!" look.

"Junko-dono. Is there anything that sessha can do to help?" asked Kenshin.

"Come back with us Ken-sama." She said with a determined look on her face. "Come back with us so we can straighten this whole thing out."

Kenshin looked at the sakabatou, which rested in his hands. "Junko-dono. If sessha were to go back with you and try and talk with the elders of the committee, sessha is afraid that he would place his friends in danger." He looked at Tama and Ayako. "Tama-dono and Ayako-dono have been the strangest people sessha has ever met…yet they were always doing something to cheer sessha up when he was down in the dumps. Yes, it was their fault, and partially sessha's fault for this to have happened…if sessha hadn't listened to them…maybe things would have been different. Maybe sessha would have been killed, maybe not. The truth remains is that the two of them have done something wrong and now the wrong must be righted. Sessha will go with you Junko-dono, on behalf of Ayako-dono and Tama-dono."

Tama stopped bickering with Akada and looked at Kenshin, eyes shining. "You will, Mr. Himura?!" she asked, looking at him, eyes wide open.

"Mr. Himura?" asked Ayako. "Do you truly promise us that you will go?" she asked.

Kenshin looked at the sakabatou. "If it is the only way to reverse the effects that you have put on Yahiko and me, then sessha will go on behalf of the human race. We will wait for Kaoru-dono and the others to get back before we will tell them."

"What do you mean Trilia Committee!?" shouted Kaoru, slamming a rice bowl down to the table. Kenshin had just got through explaining everything that he had been hiding for the past month or so. "Please Kaoru-dono! Calm down, sessha has promised Tama-dono and Ayako-dono that he will go with them back to their world and sort everything out…if that is okay Kaoru-dono?"

"NO IT IS NOT OKAY!" shouted Kaoru.

Tama slammed her fist on the table. "Listen here, missy! You're acting like a spoiled brat! For once in your entire life, can't you let Mr. Himura decide on what he wants to do? And not what you want him to do for you!? Is that _so_ hard to ask?! Just this one little favor to help us sort this whole thing out that we have caused in a way? HE HAS A BRAIN YOU KNOW!"

Kenshin blinked. "Eh…Tama-dono…you shouldn't…"

"QUIET!" shouted Tama, putting her hand to Kenshin's mouth.

"Put Dama-ono." Said Kenshin, voice muffled by Tama's hand.

"Man, those two are just alike." Said Sanosuke, folding his arms, and nodding his head.

"Tell me about it, their both baka busu's." said Yahiko, receiving hits with 2 rice bowls in the face.

Kaoru looked back at Tama and gritted her teeth. "HA! I know Kenshin has a brain! But you can't just waltz in here and expect us to let Kenshin go so easily!" said Kaoru, hands gripping the table. Tama sighed and nodded at Ayako who smiled and took Kaoru off behind the rice paper door. Moments later, Ayako and a very happy looking Kaoru came back into the room.

"Why sure you can take Kenshin, Tama!" said Kaoru, smiling.

"Please doing business with ya, Kaoru. Common Mr. Himura." Said Tama, dragging Kenshin by the gi.

"Oro? Ayako-dono, what did you say to Kaoru-dono to make her change her mind?" asked Kenshin, as they walked out into the open space of the dojo.

"Oh nothing…" said Ayako, smiling at Kenshin. The way she was smiling made him a little uneasy. Tama smiled and looked at Kenshin. "Next stop! Trilianna!" she shouted, as Tama, Ayako and Kenshin had run off…into the sunset?


	15. The End Of Maki

**Chapter 15: The End of Maki**

"Eh…Tama-dono, before we go any further, just what did you have Ayako-dono say to Kaoru-dono?" asked Kenshin, as Ayako, Tama and Kenshin had been flying through the sky on their purple chocobo.

"Well Mr. Himura. There **is** a point to us turning you into a girl…but our plan is kinda…not how we expected it to come out. Besides all the stuff with the committee, we had you as a target for out own little personal reasons. You know how you and Kaoru are so cute together?" asked Tama.

"Oro? Cute?" asked Kenshin.

"YAH! You two are SOOOO adorable!" said Ayako smiling at Kenshin. "When she whacks you and then you give that swirly eyed face, it's so cute!"

Tama rolled her eyes. "Mr. Himura, prepare to become…eh, music please, Ayako?"

"Sure thing Tama!" Ayako took out a boom box and pressed play, and the famous "Dun dun dunnnn" played.

Tama sweatdropped. "A boyfriend!" she shouted.

"Sessha? A boyfriend? Oro? Sessha is not worth of Kaoru-dono's love!" said Kenshin, pulling on Tama's waist as she made the chocobo make a sharp left.

"Yah, yah, sure. Mr. Himura, you have self-esteem issues…you know? You always say sessha! You're not unworthy! Stop putting yourself down and enjoy life, ya know? I mean, sure, you were a killer in the past, but who gives a flying rat's ass about your past, isn't that what Kaoru said? If you ask me, Mr. Himura, I think you need a shrink…I know! When all of this is done, I can hire one for you, your own personal shrink, how does that sound Mr. Himura?" asked Tama, smiling.

Kenshin blinked. "Oro? A shrink?"

Tama smiled and nodded. "Yup!" she said, and grinned at Kenshin.

"Alright Ayako! You can stop playing the, DUN DUN DUN!" said Tama, rolling her eyes at her friend.

Ayako sweatdropped. "Eh…oops…"

"Here we are!" said Tama, as the chocobo came too a stop in front of a large building. "Trilia industries!"

Ayako got off, boots hitting the paved ground. "Common Mr. Himura, let's go."

"It's rather big," said Kenshin, looking up at the building, blinking a few times, as the double suns, Eirta and Mirta blinded him.

"Yah…but inside, it's completely different!" Tama tugged at Kenshin's hand. "Lady Junko and Akada are waiting inside for us, let's go!"

Kenshin allowed himself to be pulled into the large building and toward an elevator. "What's this, Tama-dono?" Tama blinked. "Oh yah…that's right, it's still the 1870's or whatever on Earth, well, this is called and elevator!" said Tama, smiling. "It's made of metal and you press this button to make it go up or down."

Kenshin was confused, as usual. "Oro?"

"Never mind. Common, the top floor is where the committee is waiting for us." Tama grabbed Kenshin's hand, and Ayako followed in, as the elevator's door's closed and they were on their way.

"Their here." Said Akada, looking as the door opened, and Ayako, Tama and Kenshin filed out. Junko looked as they ran toward them.

"Is the committee ready?" asked Tama, letting go of Kenshin's hand and putting her own on both sides of her hips.

Akada nodded. "All they're waiting for is you guys and Mr. Himura." She folded her arms, and looked at Kenshin. "Are you ready Mr. Himura?" asked Akada, as Tama and Ayako looked at him waiting for his answer.

"Yes, sessha is ready." Said Kenshin, nodding at the Akada, who turned around, pushing the heavy oak wood doors open, to reveal a wide-open space with three podiums stacked neatly, side by side.

"Elder Maki, I have come with Tama and Ayako." Said Akada, looking up at a dark figure made present in the shadows. Bright light's turned on as if they were being interrogated for a crime. Everyone shielded his or her eyes as the counsel came into view. On the sides of Elder Maki was a rather plump old woman who wore a purple dress with pink frills at the end. She had on old lady spectacles and a pearl choker was fitted around her fat neck. Lady Aino. Elder Maki was still a woman and he was looking rather annoyed.

"Elder Maki." Began Tama, in a rather dignified voice, unlike her own. "I stand before you on behalf of all the half-breed witches to testify against your acts to treat us differently than other people. Yes, I have defied the rules beyond comparison, but you have too."

Elder Maki narrowed his wrinkled eyes and stared at Tama who stood her ground, not phased by this old man who she had turned into a woman just a day or so ago.

"Me? Broken a rule! Ha! Child, you are a wanted fugitive, and what's this? You have brought a human into our midsts? For that you shall be hung once this trial is over."

Tama looked at Maki and narrowed her eyes. "I will gladly take full punishment for all the rules that have been broken." Akada and Ayako both gasped as Kenshin stepped up. "Tama-dono!" he said. Tama turned to look at them. Don't worry, I got this under control."

Tama looked at Elder Maki. "Although…if I'm not mistaken, elder. You have broken rule number one. One of the most sacred rules in the book, and if broken you would be burned at the stake."

Maki raised his eyebrows. "HA! I have hardly broken any rules! You speak of nonsense!'

Tama shook her finger. "Ah, but it is you who speaks nonsense." She said and smirked. "Rule 1, All cheese shall rightfully be given to Tama and Ayako when grown. If you do not give it in, you shall be forced to be their love slaves for a million gazillion years!"

Ayako stepped up and took her shot on the field. "Tama's right! WHERE DID YOU PUT THE DAIKON RADISHES YOU STOLE FROM MR. HIMURA!? IF YOU ASK ME, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE DIRTY BLOOD FOR NOT GIVING US OUR RADISHES!"

Elder Maki looked at Kenshin. "Radishes!? Cheese!? What unearthly and ungodly things do you talk about you stupid little girls!? And what is this…this thing you have brought with you!?"

"MR. HIMURA IS 100 MAN! MORE MAN THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!" shouted Tama, grabbing Kenshin around the neck and shaking him, Kenshin growing his famous, O.O eyes.

"Oro!?" shouted Kenshin as Tama let go of him and she pointed toward Elder Maki. "Leaving yourself open and susceptible to spells! That's what I call a pure Grade A sissy."

Elder Maki's wrinkly fingers grasped his podium. "WHY YOU LITTLE—"

"'Why you little' what? Afraid to say what you really wanna say cause you have no gonads?!" shouted Ayako. Elder Maki's fingers grasped the podium harder as his anger steadily got to boiling point. "Elder Maki's got PMS! Elder Maki's got PMS!" shouted Ayako and Tama, grasping each other's hands and running around as if they were children.

"SHUT UP YOU IMPUDENT LITTLE GIRLS!" shouted Elder Maki.

"Nanananaa!! Can't catch us!" shouted Tama as Elder Maki rose out of his seat in an attempt to run after the two girls. Tama jumped onto the podium and started shaking her ass at Maki. "Can't get me!" she shouted.

Ayako giggled as she dodged Maki and jumped to the left, and on top of Aino's head. "Eh oh! My name's Laa Laa! What's yours!?"

Tama giggled and said, "My names Po! I like my red scooter!" Kenshin blinked. He had never seen Tama and Ayako act so strangely before. Maki glared at them then turned to Kenshin. "If I can't catch them, might as well go after the human and kill him!"

Maki started to run for Kenshin who just gave a slight, "Oro?"

Maki leaped for Kenshin, who easily dodged as Maki crashed into bowling pins (!?). "SCORE!" shouted Tama, as she jumped into the air and started to cheer. Ayako jumped down from Aino's head, who seemed to have said nothing throughout the entire meeting but stare straight ahead of her. Shhhh…don't tell anyone, but she's been long dead and is just there for show!

Maki groaned as he sat up. "Give up yet Maki?" asked Tama, who stood over him, holding a bowling ball.

"NEVER!" shouted Maki.

"BUZZZZ! WRONG ANSWER!" shouted Ayako, as she took the bowling ball from Tama and dropped it straight down on Maki's head. Little Tama and Ayako's started to float around the aging Elder's head as he passed out.

"Mr. Himura…would you do the honors?" asked Tama, smiling at him.

"Tama-dono. You know sessha had never vowed to kill again." Said Kenshin, walking toward Tama and Ayako.

"No Mr. Himura, would you mind taking the daikon radishes he stole from you?" asked Ayako.

Kenshin blinked. "He stole daikon radishes from sessha!?"

Tama shrugged. "Nah, just wanted to always say that to ya…well…looks like Elder Maki's unconscious! Time to put an end to him!"

Kenshin blinked. "Where are we going to put him Tama-dono?" asked Kenshin.

Tama smirked. "Oh…I've got the perfect idea…"

"Should we really put him here, Tama-dono?" asked Kenshin.

"Sure, the strip joint could use a wrinkly old man with jacked up morals." Said Tama smiling at Kenshin.

Ayako sweatdropped. "I have nothing too do with this if anyone asks." She said.

"Well…that takes care of that. Looks like thing's have finally been solved Mr. Himura." Said Tama, as they started to walk back to the dojo.

"But Tama-dono, what about…" Kenshin looked down.

"Holy flying sheep, I forgot about that…hold on!" Tama reached into her pocket and took out some red powder. "Here, it's the reversal effects, I got to work on it a little while after we stopped contacting you in your dreams, here's the exact amount for you and Yahiko in that bag. Well Mr. Himura…looks like we gotta run!" said Tama.

Ayako gave him a big hug. "Bye Mr. Himura! I had lot's of fun making you say "Oro!"

"Oro?"

"Yup!"

Tama smiled at him. "Things are still hetic, and the committee is still trying to figure out what happened to Elder Maki. In the meantime Mr. Himura, sweet dreams and good luck with Kaoru!"

Tama and Ayako mounted their purple chocobo and smiled. "Bye Mr. Himura…and oh! About you shrink…you can expect to have on pretty soon." Said Tama and grinned as they rode off into the sun.

"Oh Kenshin!" shouted Kaoru as she ran to go hug Kenshin.

"Kaoru-dono? What's the matter?" asked Kenshin, looking at the worried expression on Kaoru's face.

"We were all so worried!" She hugged Kenshin. "Don't ever leave me like that again!"

"But Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin was cut off when Kaoru gave him a big smackeroo on the lips.

"Mrgfh…mmf…mm…mmhm…" SO! This is was Tama was talking about when she said that she would help Kenshin and Kaoru out. He slid his arm around Kaoru's thin waist. Kenshin…as much as he thought he was unworthy couldn't deny it. It was kinda nice.

"I love you Kenshin." Said Kaoru.

"I love you Kaoru-dono." Said Kenshin, as he looked up at the night stars. Was he imagining it, or did he see a purple chocobo fly across the dojo, throwing stars and glitter into the sky? Yup…just imagining it…

The End…OR IS IT!? HAHAHAAHHAHAHAAA!!


End file.
